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  • How Rivers Cuomo of Weezer Overcame His Hair Loss Insecurities, Plus My Top 10 Weezer Songs!

How Rivers Cuomo of Weezer Overcame His Hair Loss Insecurities, Plus My Top 10 Weezer Songs!

At this moment I am 32 years of ages. As well as like many guys in their early 30s, I matured on the music of Weezer. And also quite honestly, I don’t assume there’s a band on earth that can’ve provided a far better soundtrack to my formative secondary school years. Simply puts …


Yes, I was a nerd!

However hearing Weezer provided me some relief, some viewpoint, and risk I say it, also a little love (of the unrequited range, given) as I strayed despondently via the crowded, chaotic, as well as hormone-infused halls of my nondescript senior high school in the suburbs of Seattle.

In this blog post, I’ll speak about Rivers’ loss of hair, exactly how he handled it, and offer some other general tips about how to take care of loss of hair. I’ll additionally review my leading 10 ideal Weezer tracks, evaluate the hairlines of the other individuals in the band, state Matt Sharp one or two times, reword one of the knowledgeables of “My Name is Jonas” so it’s about hair loss rather than batteries and siblings, and a great deal more. Yeah, you heard me ideal. Let’s begin …

When Rivers Started Balding

Rivers Cuomo began losing his hair at some point in his mid 30s, in a rather uncommon fashion, provided his age, at the crown rather than the hairline. And also he tackled his loss of hair the way he dealt with all his various other hardships in life, love, etc: By composing a tune regarding it!

The track was “Pork as well as Beans” (not exactly a work of art, I recognize.) As well as he resolves his follicular distress right out of eviction in the song’s opening line:

They say I need some Rogaine to put in my hair.

Who’s they?

Who’s bothering him regarding his hairless spot?

I can’t say without a doubt, yet probably it’s his supervisor, agent, the document label, atrioventricular bundle mate Brian Bell (such a delicious head of hair to today, as well as the man’s pushing 50!), maybe even a sweetheart, or maybe every one of the above?!

I don’t know that bothered my preferred psychological young boy of the 90s as well as made him pour his heart out in track, however I’m grateful to them currently in a weird way, as it offers me a possibility to pontificate regarding Weezer, hair loss, as well as my interest in both in this blog post …

How Rivers Dealt with Hair Loss

Anyway, how did Rivers manage going hairless? Moreover, just how did he handle individuals around him inclining their own damn service and also allowing him lose his hair in peace?

By writing this carolers, naturally!

“I’m gonna do the things that I wanna do

I ain’t got a thing to prove to you

I eat my candy with the pork and beans

Forgive my manners if I make a scene.”

Just what an unusual carolers! But it’s good suggestions in an odd means …

As I point out in my article describing George Carlin’s ideal guidance for balding guys, it’s essential, in life, NOT to give a crap. Which’s generally exactly what Rivers was saying to all his naysayers and individuals hassling him concerning hair loss. I’m gon na do exactly what I wan na do, and F U if you don’t like it!

Remarkably, nowadays Rivers’ loss of hair hasn’t actually proceeded much compared to his older images. He’s shaking a very solid Norwood 3 pattern, with an untidy, nerd-chic style that matches his geeky, middle-aged superstar persona perfectly!

His bald place isn’t really commonly visible in the efficiencies I’ve seen (and it most definitely made use of to be noticeable)! My hunch is he’s had a hair transplant or 2, and maybe makes use of a bit of hair concealer to fill in the uneven places. Maybe even, wheeze, a little Rogaine! It’s fine, I forgive you Rivers.

He did the things he intended to do, and also years later, he decided to obtain himself some hair– and good for him.

His words of wisdom in “Pork and Beans” still use … I ain’t gon na wear the garments that you like
I’m fine and dandy with the me inside
one search in the mirror as well as I’m tickled pink
I don’t provide a hoot concerning what you believe

Forget your doubters as well as cynics. Do you, as the children state. Buzz your head, use Propecia, get a hair transplantation, become a rockstar, wed an adorable half-Japanese girl, or whatever. Currently, just for enjoyable …

My Top Ten Weezer Songs!

10. El Scorcho

9. Only in Dreams

8. In the Garage

7. You Gave Your Love to Me Softly (Yes, I effing love the Angus soundtrack all at once as well!).

6. No Other One.

5. The Good Life.

4. Claim it Ain’t So.

3. My Name is Jonas.

2. The World Has Turned (and also Left Me Here).


  • Loss Together, constantly dug that a person.
  • Servant.
  • Island in the Sun.
  • Glorious Day.
  • The Rest of the Blue Album.
  • The Rest of Pinkerton (Falling for You particularly, so much harshness).
  • Yeah, I pretty much stopped listening after “Maladroit.” But I heard “Go Away” recently as well as kind of dug that.



Definitely legendary build up, shateringly sincere verses, excellent solo, timeless Weezer chorus, as well as to cover it all off, a killer intermission where he cuts his head and also tries to be a monk! And also I constantly liked the opening where he paraphrases the 18-year-old Japanese woman’s letter in busted English:.

You are eighteen year old girl,

who live in small city of Japan!

Just outstanding!

How Bald is the Rest of Weezer?

They’re not all that hairless, considering their ages (late 40s, Scott might also be 50).

Not a wonderful image … But on the Norwood range … I ‘d claim Rivers is a Norwood 3 V, naturally … Scott, simply an ordinary Norwood 3 I assume …

Pat, Norwood 4-5 … He’s been receding because ’94 possibly and nowadays selects the buzzed look.

Brian, Norwood 1! Guy’s practically 50 as I claimed previously. Absolute chaos.

Matt Sharp, still a participant of the band in my heart (seriously, his falsetto vocals were amazing and huge part of exactly what made the band so wonderful in the 90s). Yeah, he’s a Norwood 3 still I think as well– and also he’s been a Norwood 3 for 20-something years currently, so it’s secure to say his loss of hair isn’t proceeding too much.

We’ve All Left the Den

(And a Lot of Us Are Going Bald)

Okay, I told you I would certainly rewrite a verse of “My Name is Jonas” and make it concerning hair loss, just like I rewrote the carolers of “The Heart of the Matter” by Don Henley and made it about loss of hair. Here’s the knowledgeable (Okay it’s in fact just a partial verse that I reworded):.

Guess what I received in the mail today

words of deep concern from my little brother

“It looks like I’m losing my hair

And a part of me just doesn’t care

I think I’d  look alight bald

And I just had new carpet installed

the workers are going home

the workers are going home

the workers are going home


See exactly what I did? Transformed the building employees right into carpeting cleansers?

By the way, there’s a baldness epidemic in the building field …

Wrapping It Up

Will Weezer ever before reach their mid 90s elevations once again? I would certainly claim it’s unlikely. As well as if you’re going bald, it’s unlikely that your hair will certainly reach its mid 90s peak anytime soon. God this was a rambling message, move along currently. Do yourself a support as well as go listen to Pinkerton completely via once again, if you have not done so in awhile, like I just did. The shit still stands up and is still rather incredible, 20 years later.

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